Monday, April 29, 2013

Mixing and Matching


                                    I know that food stays fresh when kept inside them
                                    Buying them was one smart thing I did
                                    I wonder if someone is trying to hide them
                                    I never seem to find the matching lid

Tupperware was invented by Earl Silas Tupper and patented in 1947. He became fascinated with plastic while working for DuPont Chemical Company in the years before World War ll. That is the sum total of my knowledge of the origin of plastic storage containers
.
I have to believe that this discovery has helped millions of households over the last sixty- plus years. I can’t even imagine how much food might have spoiled without the presence of these miraculous containers. I do, however, have one question…

Why don’t the lids fit? I understand that several different companies have come out with their own line of plastic containers. I also understand that these companies would want you to buy their product exclusively. But, is it asking too much for the tops and bottoms of these containers to be interchangeable? Do the words user friendly ring a bell? Is customer satisfaction even considered.

And why does the food stain some brands and not others? I have to think that a few of the companies really dropped the ball on this. Maybe they thought we could just use the same bowls for the same foods all of the time. Once the bowl held chili, it should always hold chili. You could color coordinate them.

I have a cabinet above my stove, (to the right of the clutter drawer) where I keep my plastic storage containers. The lids are stacked neatly on one side and the bowls are nested closely to their right. At any given time I have at least one dozen of each on hand. You would think that I have the situation under control.

Not even close! On a good day, I will find one match between lid and bowl and that normally happens after I have tried nearly every possible combination. Some lids are rounded on the corners and some are straight. Some are perfectly square and others are off by just a tad. Just enough difference to make you think they  will fit until you try to seal the last corner.

Why don’t  I just throw them away and start over? Maybe I think that the same gremlin, who steals an occasional sock from the dryer, might somehow make the missing lids reappear. Maybe he will show pity on a bachelor who is approaching sixty-five and is still a work in progress. Until then, I will continue to store my leftovers in a Tupperware bowl that is sealed with aluminum foil.




Fitting In


                                    I knew that food stayed fresh when kept inside them
                                    Buying them was one smart thing I did
                                    I wonder if someone is trying to hide them
                                    I never seem to find the matching lid

Tupperware was invented by Earl Silas Tupper and patented in 1947. He became fascinated with plastic while working for DuPont Chemical Company in the years before World War ll. That is the sum total of my knowledge of the origin of plastic storage containers.

I have to believe that this discovery has helped millions of households over the last sixty- plus years. I can’t even imagine how much food might have spoiled without the presence of these miraculous containers. I do, however, have one question…

Why don’t the lids fit? I understand that several different companies have come out with their own line of plastic containers. I also understand that these companies would want you to buy their product exclusively. But, is it asking too much for the tops and bottoms of these containers to be interchangeable? Do the words user friendly ring a bell? Is customer satisfaction even considered.

And why does the food stain some brands and not others? I have to think that a few of the companies really dropped the ball on this. Maybe they thought we could just use the same bowls for the same foods all of the time. Once the bowl held chili, it should always hold chili. You could color coordinate them.

I have a cabinet above my stove, (to the right of the clutter drawer) where I keep my plastic storage containers. The lids are stacked neatly on one side and the bowls are nested closely to their right. At any given time I have at least one dozen of each on hand. You would think that I have the situation under control.

Not even close! On a good day, I will find one match between lid and bowl and that normally happens after I have tried nearly every possible combination. Some lids are rounded on the corners and some are straight. Some are perfectly square and others are off by just a tad. Just enough difference to make you think they  will fit until you try to seal the last corner.

Why don’t  I just throw them away and start over? Maybe I think that the same gremlin, who steals an occasional sock from the dryer, might somehow make the missing lids reappear. Maybe he will show pity on a bachelor who is approaching sixty-five and is still a work in progress. Until then, I will continue to store my leftovers in a Tupperware bowl that is sealed with aluminum foil.







                                   

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Mistakes For Sale


                                              I will admit that I'm the one who bought it
                                              It looked to be the right thing in the store
                                              Sadly, I got home before I caught it
                                              But, should this thing be mine for ever more? 


I recently have been considering holding a garage sale. Considering I have never owned a garage, this could be quite an adventure.

I would not be offering the sort of items that most garage sales feature. I wouldn’t be placing price tags on things I no longer needed or clothes that my family or I have outgrown. Instead, I would be doing the opposite.

I will be offering to sell all of the things that I have brought home by mistake. You will have the chance to own all of the treasures that I purchased while not wearing my glasses. Yes, a wonderful collection of misfit items for a fraction of their original cost.

I will offer everything from ankle socks (that were meant to go above the ankle) to men’s briefs (that were meant to be boxers and not nearly as brief). I also will feature a canned goods section containing endless bargains.

I have decided to part with the tomato puree which disguised itself as tomato sauce, the seasoned green beans that should have been collard greens and last, but not least, artichoke hearts that I mistook for asparagus.

However, there is one item that will not be for sale. I refuse to part with the women’s reading glasses that I chose by mistake. The brand new glasses that I refused to wear to Kroger. They will remind me that sometimes it’s alright to look a little different. Sometimes you might even benefit from it.


                                              


                                            
                                                         
                                

Mistakes For Sale


                                              I will admit that I'm the one who bought it
                                              It looked to be the right thing in the store
                                              Sadly, I got home before I caught it
                                              But, should this thing be mine for ever more?

I recently have been considering holding a garage sale. Considering I have never owned a garage, this could be quite an adventure.

I would not be offering the sort of items that most garage sales feature. I wouldn’t be placing price tags on things I no longer needed or clothes that my family or I have outgrown. Instead, I would be doing the opposite.

I will be offering to sell all of the things that I have brought home by mistake. You will have the chance to own all of the treasures that I purchased while not wearing my glasses. Yes, a wonderful collection of misfit items for a fraction of their original cost.

I will offer everything from ankle socks (that were meant to go above the ankle) to men’s briefs (that were meant to be boxers and not nearly as brief). I also will feature a canned goods section containing endless bargains.

I have decided to part with the tomato puree which disguised itself as tomato sauce, the seasoned green beans that should have been collard greens and last, but not least, artichoke hearts that I mistook for asparagus.

However, there is one item that will not be for sale. I refuse to part with the women’s reading glasses that I chose by mistake. The brand new glasses that I refused to wear to Kroger. They will remind me that sometimes it’s alright to look a little different. Sometimes you might even benefit by it.


                                              


                                            
                                                         
                                

Friday, April 19, 2013

A Toast to Shopping!


                                                 I never thought I really liked to shop
                                                 Until I ventured down the beverage aisle
                                                 Now, you’ll never ever make me stop
                                                 And I will always check out with a smile.                                               


I remember growing up hearing the Kroger ads on television. “Let go Krogering, Krogering, Krogering. Let’s go Krogering…The happy way to shop”. I never took the ad literally until this evening.

As I rounded the beverage aisle, on my way to the bakery, I encountered a roadblock. There were three eight foot tables set up at the end of the aisle in the wine section. The first time that grabbed my attention was the number of young children running back and forth toward these tables

The next thing I noticed was that these tables were full of happy women. I think they might have even borrowed the machine from the deli that issues a ticket telling you that it is your turn to be served. After all, you have to give those waiting at least a chance to join the crowd.

For the lack of a better word, I had stumbled upon a wine tasting session. I had heard that the store was doing this every so often, but had never walked in on one.

I do know that the husbands seemed totally lost. They seemed to have no control or even a clue to how they should handle the situation. They were not only expected to watch their children, but also to complete the shopping list. How could this happen? How could anyone ask this much of them?

I have to admit that I had to side with the wives on this one. If you don’t deserve a drink  for grocery shopping with small children, you may never deserve one. It was all I could do to stop myself from applauding the entire group.

I’m not advocating drinking and shopping, but I can appreciate the justice. Men never seem to have trouble having a drink at a ball game, playing golf, playing cards, or any other event where two or more are attending. Why shouldn’t women have a chance to unwind now and then. Of course, that’s just my opinion.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Defending Lunchmeat


                             I’m not sure how this type of mail was named
                             I also know that this is quite unfair
                             Most people seem to think it’s all  the same
                             When really they don’t know what goes in there. 


Sometimes things get a bad name when they don’t deserve it. I guess I would have to compare this with being an urban myth. I can’t help noticing that if something is repeated long enough and often enough, people will believe it.

No, I’m not talking about Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman or even the Loch Ness Monster. This time I am referring to the canned potted meat by the name of Spam. Just the fact that unwanted , unsolicited, and mostly deleted mail is named after this product has aggravated me for a long time.

I’m not saying that I lay awake tossing and turning all hours of the night worrying about this. I just hate to see or be a part of this injustice. After all, I grew up camping out in West Virginia and I have probably eaten my body weight in Spam

Having spent over half of my working life employed by a meat processor, I can honestly say that Spam is a very high quality product. I have seen a type of sausage blended without one bit of actual meat. I have also seen others containing most anything that is left over at the end of the day.

I remember the hot sausage that they used to sell in the bars years ago. There would be a large jar on the counter and you could buy them one at a time. Now, naming a file after that product would have made perfect sense. Simply putting a question mark on the jar's label would have spoken volumes.

I hope I have enlightened you today and also helped to right a wrong. Some things just don't sit right with me until they are corrected. I will now go check my e-mail and delete everything in my Chorizo file. Then I will go out and celebrate the arrival of spring in Cincinnati.



Defending Lunchmeat


                             I’m not sure how this type of mail was named
                             I also know that this is quite unfair
                             Most people seem to think it’s all  the same
                             When really they don’t know what goes in there. 


Sometimes things get a bad name when they don’t deserve it. I guess I would have to compare this with being an urban myth. I can’t help noticing that if something is repeated long enough and often enough, people will believe it.

No, I’m not talking about Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman or even the Loch Ness Monster. This time I am referring to the canned potted meat by the name of Spam. Just the fact that unwanted , unsolicited, and mostly deleted mail is named after this product has aggravated me for a long time.

I’m not saying that I lay awake tossing and turning all hours of the night worrying about this. I just hate to see myself being a part of this injustice. After all, I grew up camping out in West Virginia and I have probably eaten my body weight in Spam.

Having spent over half of my working life employed by a meat processor, I can honestly say that Spam is a very high quality product. I have seen a type of sausage blended without one bit of actual meat.I have also seen others containing most anything that is left over at the end of the day.

I remember the hot sausage that they used to sell in the bars years ago. There would be a large jar on the counter and you could buy them one at a time. Now, naming a file after that product would have made perfect sense. I think that a question mark on the jar's label would speak volumes.

I hope I have enlightened you today and also helped to right a wrong. I will now go check my e-mail and delete everything in my Chorizo file. Then I will go out and celebrate the arrival of spring in Cincinnati.



In Defense of Lunchmeat


                             I’m not sure how this type of mail was named
                             I also know that this is quite unfair
                             Most people seem to think it’s all  the same
                             When really they don’t know what goes in there.


Sometimes things get a bad name when they don’t deserve it. I guess I would have to compare this with being an urban myth. I can’t help noticing that if something is repeated long enough and often enough, people will believe it.

No, I’m not talking about Bigfoot, the Abominable Snowman or even the Loch Ness Monster. This time I am referring to the canned potted meat by the name of Spam. Just the fact that unwanted , unsolicited, and mostly deleted mail is named after this product has aggravated me for a long time.

I’m not saying that I lay awake tossing and turning all hours of the night worrying about this. I just hate to see or be a part of this injustice. After all, I grew up camping out in West Virginia and I have probably eaten my body weight in Spam.

Having spent over half of my working life employed by a meat processor, I can honestly say that Spam is a very high quality product. I’ve seen a type of sausage blended without one bit of actual meat. I’ve seen others containing most anything that is left over at the end of the day.

I remember the hot sausage that they used to sell in the bars years ago. There would be a large jar on the counter and you could buy them one at a time. Now, naming a file after that product would have made perfect sense.

I hope I have enlightened you today and also helped to right a wrong. I will now go check my e-mail and delete everything in my Chorizo file. Then I will go out and celebrate the arrival of spring in Cincinnati.



Saturday, April 6, 2013

The Golden Years


                                             I wonder why they try to take advantage
                                             Why can’t they leave us well enough alone?
                                             It’s getting much more difficult to manage
                                             Just trying to figure this out on our own.
                                            


Years ago my mother gave me some advice. She told me that when I sign up for Medicare to get two large boxes to hold all of the paperwork. I always assumed that she was talking about the paperwork concerning doctors, billing, and medical procedures.

She could have been referencing the mountain of information you receive in the months before your sixty- fifth birthday. There must be an alarm that sounds when someone approaches this age. Everyone with the power to treat me, insure me, improve me, or bury me has been alerted. I think that more people know about this birthday than my original one.

Spam mail can cover a very wide range of topics. One person might tell me who to contact if I fall down and another will tell me who to call if I have an erection lasting four hours or more. Boy, I hope I don’t get those numbers mixed up. That could be one embarrassing phone call!

I don’t think this is just me and I know that it’s not my imagination. Today's senior citizens are bombarded with more useless information than any other generation in history. There are so many schemes that are meant to take our money and property. It is difficult enough to save over the years. Now, we have every huckster with internet access to worry about.

Every letter that I receive has been made to look official. I can’t tell whether it is a request to sign up for my benefits or some company trying to get me to sign up for something that I either don’t need or can’t afford. It’s hard enough growing older without so many people trying to take advantage of you.

Now that I have finished my rant, I feel better. I need to go back to reading my mail. This letter looks very interesting: It says that I might have already won a million dollars! All I need to do is send my social security number to claim my money.